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Oct. 24th, 2012 @ 04:12 pm Those Dreams
Current Location: Marietta, S Hornet Dr,
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Well the dreams are back except they arent about who they use to be about. Now its a new person. I dont really wish to have them. They try to give a false sense of what is going on. I want what the dreams represent which is why I dream it. But I dont need a dream to put it into reality. I do that fine myself.
Basically it. The dream hasnt affected my day. I have had a good day. Pretty central or calm. Had an apple and peanut butter sandwich. Watched sex and the city. And thats it. Class now.

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Oct. 22nd, 2012 @ 09:03 pm Just Give Me A Reason
Current Location: Marietta, S Hornet Dr,
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I guess I wish I could have someone tell me in their sleep what they feel because then it could be a true story. Unless deep down they are really lying to themselves...
I know I mood swing and I know why. I have always been like that. there are things that hit those buttons. I have pointed them out. Its your own fault you continue to hit those buttons and your fault you get the mood change. Start doing things differently then it would change dont you think?

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Oct. 16th, 2012 @ 08:44 pm Do You Just Want to Not Be Friends
Current Location: Marietta, Franklin Rd SE, 595


Shooting on campus. I needed a place to stay. Asked if after work if I could stay there. He said he could because Ariel was with him. What friend turns a friend down when he doesnt have a place to stay. Well good thing I have a friend willing to but it may not be needed.
Thank you Regina.

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Oct. 15th, 2012 @ 10:41 pm I am just tired
Current Location: Marietta, S Hornet Dr,
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I am tired of feeling. I cant seem to get anywhere
with anyone. Loneliness is a feeling and it one that runs my life. Its cloudy and storming in my world. All because I like someone. And I am just tired.
I cant be promiscuous. Thats just not there.

 

I hurt everyday. When I am working I feel so much better. I put 12 applications in and still nothing I would put in 12 more if I knew where. I dont have a car to travel. I feel like I am stuck still. Even when I live here in the city. I am lost. So please just come find me.

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Oct. 14th, 2012 @ 07:12 pm At Night
Current Location: Atlanta, 10th St NE, 132
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I wish my feelings would go away. That way things would be brighter. I am emotionally in pain. I just want to be happy. All the time. I am tired of being lonely. I am tired of seeing couple. How do I get out of this? I know a way but it wouldnt be the best choice.

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Oct. 11th, 2012 @ 04:35 am I Understand
Current Location: Marietta, S Hornet Dr,

I understand you may be mad at me. I understand why. And I am sorry you are mad at me. I am sorry I may have disappointed you. But I really had to do this. I had to prove to my mother and myself that my sister doesnt really care for anyone but herself. If I say I am sorry understand that I truly am sorry. I will tell you everyday that I am sorry.
Accept this promise that this will not happen again. Understand that this was a thing that had to happen. This will be the only time I will go against what you have advised. I did listen to you. I took in every word you said. I even agree with you. This still had to happen and this will not happen again. Dont worry. The only exception to this is my mother and my brother. Because the 2 of them have done so much for me. And they would give me their last if they had to. So I should do the same.

 

Now heres where I need to express some things. I like you. You only want my friendship. But it seems thats not entirely true. Though I could be reading that entirely wrong. I gues you could say I gave you a taste of what you gave me this past weekend. I didnt do it on purpose. I had to do it to figure things out. Its not like we are together. If we were things would be different. I would give you more say in my life and decisions. You will not be able to have be turn my back on my mother or brother for anything. But if you see that things with anyone else is not going fair then tell me and I will listen. Thats how I am in a relationship. But as we both know you are not single. What you dont know is I know more than you have told me. I know what he has done. I dont know how it happened. I dont know the history between you. I do know that if I can see things being serious I am williing to work with it. I will not have a fear of it and I will work with you on it. With anyone if its true.

 

All I really want is a chance. A time of day. If things dont work out I will accept and stay friends. Just a time of day.

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Oct. 6th, 2012 @ 08:57 pm Feelings Hurt
Current Location: Marietta, Franklin Dr,
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So my feelings were hurt. I was thinking that I was going to have fun with a friend tonight because he said
Wed. that we were going to. So I planned to be able to go. I baked chocolate chip cookies for him because I said I would. Then I looked good and prepared for the night. Get a message. Well my boyfriend want to watch this movie and he is going to get the tickets so Im going to see the movie... So my feelings got hurt. Let him know and all he said is I'm sorry. Do my feelings actually matter?

 

Other news. My sister is telling people that all I use my money is for alcohol. It's none of her business. But I dont use my money on alcohol all the time. I only did that once this semester. And that was for a friend's birthday.

 

My birthdays coming up. I guess I should be excited. But I don't feel so excited. I am just so sick of being lonely.  I can be happy for a while but when it comes down to it I am still lonely.

 

Somebody save me because I can feel myself giving you...

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Oct. 6th, 2012 @ 04:46 am Is It Bad
Current Location: Marietta, S Hornet Dr,
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Is it bad that I want to lean in and kiss him? How about the fact I know he is with someone? and That I want to cuddle every chance I get. As long as theres the fact that he just wants to be friends I will not sleep with him.
I want a legit relationship. I dont want a friends with benefits. Not with one that I already like anyways. Last Spring maybe I would have been willing since I didnt like him like I do now. I like him enough to see how it would be further in. And if it didnt work I could still be a friend with an ex.
I dont want to be lonely anymore. I have spent the majority of my almost 24 years lonely. Its ok though.
I think if you take the time to be friends that talk about everything that is when you should try to have a relationship. I dont know. and that why i posted it to my facebook.

 

Goodnight...

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Oct. 4th, 2012 @ 12:06 pm PreCalc Test 2
Current Location: Marietta, East Dr,
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So I got up about 7:30 and got my shower. By 8:10 I was studying for my precalc exam. somewhere it that time I had a minor anxiety attack. it didnt feel great. but i went away pretty easily... i didnt pass the test but i did the best i could out of what i had. i didnt do the best i could in doing homework and stuff. i need to adjust it all. precalc at least 30 min a day....

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Oct. 3rd, 2012 @ 06:22 am What am I supposee to do.
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what do you do when like someone and they are lying next to you? be like casper and ask if you can keep them? Only fucking fairytales. i know he probably doesnt want me like that since  has ariel... I dont know. i dont know ariel but he sounds like a little bitch... oh well ill ride this out and i will be fine.

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